Posted on

Gary Sheffield: Free My Verse

by James Finn Garner

 

I called it years ago.

What I called is

that you’re going to see

more

black faces, but there ain’t no English

going to be

coming out. …

[It’s about]

being able to tell

[Latin players]

what to do —

being able to

control

them.

 

You might get a guy to do it that way

for a while

because he wants to benefit,

but in the end, he is going to go back

to being

who he is.

And that’s

a person that

you’re going to talk to

with respect,

you’re going to talk to

like a man.

 

These are the things my race demands.

 

So, if you’re equally good as this Latin player,

guess who’s going to get sent home?

I know a lot of players

that are home now

can outplay

a lot of these guys.

 

From an interview in GQ Magazine, June 2007

Posted on

Schillborn

By Stu Shea

 

The Red Sox game was thrilling,

A feast of pitching filling,

But the A’s hit lots of balls quite hard off Curt.

Some big plays saved his bacon,

And the plans that he was makin’

Fell to pieces as he got his just dessert.

Shannon Stewart foiled the no-no,

But Curt Schilling still won 1-0,

So he has to feel okay despite the shock.

And while he may feel abashed,

With his hist’ry-making dashed,

At least he didn’t bleed right through his sock.

In reference to Curt Schilling’s June 7 one-hitter.

Posted on

Marlins Poem

by Stu Shea

 

Squish, squish, squish!

Let’s beat up on the Fish!

Nobody comes to their games anyhow

And you may find grilled marlin delish!

 

Posted June 8.

Posted on

Tampa Bay Devil Names

by Stu Shea

What’s in a Name?

 

Elijah Dukes will use his fists,

Delmon Young has room to grow.

James Shields gives protection to his team.

 

 

Jorge Cantu just can’t play,

And Jae Ryu’s goose is Kuked,

While Carlos’ twinge of Pena makes him scream.

 

 

But nothing Maddons a manager more

Than giving up a five-run lead,

Burning a bullpen

That sucks indeed.

 

 

Posted after the Rays gave up six runs in the bottom of the ninth to lose to the Blue Jays, 12-11, on June 5.

Posted on

On Being A.J. Pierzynski

by James Finn Garner

 

Oh, it isn’t easy

Being A.J. Pierzynski.

Not one to appease, he

Is always called sleazy.

 

He’s never mistaken

For Francis Assisi.

He’d start a rhubarb

In a game of Parcheesi.

 

Ozzie will say that

He’ll see him in Hades–he

Then says they’re twins,

Near Siamese-y.

 

Other team’s say his

Play’s pretty cheesy.

If bad vibes were pollen,

The whole league would be sneezy.

 

But to find a smart catcher

Ain’t easy-peasy.

I’d rather hunt crocs on

The River Zambezi.

 

Like being the man

On the flying trapeze-y,

It ain’t never easy

Being A.J. Pierzynski.