Bender/Meyers/Zimmer et al.

by Michael Ceraolo

Albert was a Hall-of-Fame pitcher
(though not elected by the writers),
while John and Charley were first-rate catchers
(and Charley was chosen as president
of the Players Protective Association)
The others of us here were less successful,
yet all of us, great and non-great alike,
might as well have been the same person
to pseudo-clever sportswriters,
because they gave each of us the nickname
CHIEF

Flu Ball

by James Finn Garner

Playing a game in a mask?
Not such a formidable task
Although it’s deemed tacky
To still chew tobacky
Else in odors and juice you will bask.

 

The Standard Murphys pose with masks before a game on Jan. 26, 1919, in California during the Spanish Flu epidemic. For more on the game, visit this site.

Go Out and Play Already

by Hilary Barta

A field and a bat and a ball
A love of the game, and that’s all
No need for a crowd
(Aren’t even allowed)
To cheer or to boo ev’ry call.

 

MLB All Happy Hour Team

by Jim Siergey

1B   Johnny   Hopp
2B   “Gin” Rickie Weeks
SS   Bobby Wine
3B   Bill Stein

LF   Hank “Whiskey” Sauer
CF   Jigger Statz
RF   Gene Rye

C    Darrell Porter

PH   Nick Martini

P   Clarence Beers
P   Eric Stout
P   Tim Belcher
P   George Burpo

MGR  Burt Shotton

 

AL East 2020 Projection Haiku

A Bardball exclusive, originally created by Stuart Shea

ORIOLES
Reduce reuse rebuild
If prospects were wishes
They’d have a parade

RED SOX
Get us a ring, Chaim
Also below the tax cap
Beat the Yanks too, ‘kay?

YANKEES
Last year’s injured list
Now a memory–Ooops!
Judge sidelined again.

RAYS
D’Arnaud, Garcia
Are off to greener pastures
They still grow talent.

BLUE JAYS
Twenty-one hurlers
Keep switching battery out
Of blue muscle car.