Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Chief Wahoo has been shown the gate
If only 60 years too late.
When choosing mascots, show respect–
It’s easier than you’d expect.
If I were the sole decider,
I’d resurrect the “Cleveland Spiders”,
But as a nasty little schemer,
I might go with “Cleveland Steamers”.
(Quote by Bill Veeck, of course.)
Must we
Fire Dusty
‘Cuz Scherzer
Got worser
And Harper
Will scarper
And Wieters
Missed a beat, sir?
The manager who
Delivered the Nats
To the brink
Shouldn’t shoo
When pitchers and bats
Made the stink.
Aaron Judge
Wants to leave a ball-shaped smudge
On the bleacher seats
Of every ballpark he meets.
Jose Altuve
Is feeling real groovy
Slulrping down shaved ice
And driving around like “Miami Vice”.
Chris Sale
Drinks a pail
Of prune juice before each start–
That face is him holding in every fart.
Zack Cozart
Isn’t much for art.
He thinks that big thing by Red Grooms
Indicates use of ‘shrooms.
Route 66 (Opened 11/11/1926, decommissioned 6/27/1985)
Chuck Berry (10/18/1926–3/18/2017)
On my birthday Chuck Barry has passed.
Local icons my St. Louis past:
Mr. Moke left the zoo,
Stan the Man is gone, too–
Like Route 66, they were all gassed.
Some 40 days older than his fellow St. Louis icon, Chuck Berry outlasted Route 66 by nearly 33Â years.