“Money Ball” MVP

by the Village Elliott

For Josh Donaldson

“Oh by golly, by gosh,
Why’d Beane have to trade Josh?”
Cried fan who’s an A’s East Bay mourner.
“He belongs with our A’s,
Not up north with the Jays,
There playing Toronto’s hot corner!
Now Josh Donaldson’s the
Presumptive MVP
Of the AL, at least he so plays;
While Beane signs bodies warm,
Without legs, hands or arm,
To play the hot corner for the A’s!”

Reckon my friend forgot
Billy owns part of pot,
Kind of like the Cards and Branch Rickey.*
Deal the A’s made with Beane
When the Red Sox seemed keen,
Suggesting Beane, like Rickey, is “tricky”;
Trading deadline is nigh.
Soon fans might say “goodbye”
To both Scott Kazmir and Sonny Gray,
For I doubt Beane forgot
Like Branch, his piece of pot
Is part of what makes Money Ball pay.

PS: Only took half a day
Till Beane traded away
Scott Kazmir, as we all knew he would,
In return, two unknowns
Causing more A’s fans’ groans,
Knowing these guys are gone if they’re good.
___________________________

* When Branch Rickey and Cards,
Owned by Breadon, were pards,
Branch got a cut of each deal he made;
With his farm system flush,
Rickey deemed it a “rush,”
To sell players so he is well paid.
“The Pious Hypocrite”
In his office would sit,
Trade players, not year late, one early;
Rickey never looked back,
Busy counting his stack.
Others thought him impious and surly.

MLB All-Fish Team

by James Finn Garner

From an idea by Steve Fiffer

1B Sid Bream
2B Chico Salmon
SS Lee Elia
3B Melvin Mora
LF Ralph Garr
CF Mike Trout
RF Kevin Bass
C Carlton Fishk
LHP Steve Trout, Ryan Karp
RHP Dizzy Trout, Mudcat Grant
M Earl Weever

 

Goodbye, Cruel World — It’s Opening Day!

by Hart Seely

The gods place bets with loaded dice,
And all our earthly dreams betray,
But listen to one clown’s advice,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

The politicians scrounge for power,
With consequences we shall pay.
But somewhere, it’s our finest hour,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

Our weary age is full of war,
The daily news brings dark dismay,
So surf the dreams worth living for,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

.
Hart Seely is the author of   The Juju Rules: Or How To Win Ballgames From Your Couch, and also operates the Yankees blog, IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS….caught.

Redbird October

by Steven D. Johnson

I love America
.    I love Fall
.        I love October
.            I love baseball

Now September is here
October is near!
“Let’s Go Cardinals!”
The St. Louis fans cheer

In unwritten October saga
.    who will get the win?
.        Waino, Miller, Wacha,
.            Lackey, and Lance Lynn!

It’s the top of the first and the Cards field with grace
Bourjos in center field to Wong at second base
Then top of the lineup, Matheny will say,
“is Carpenter, Jay, and Matt Holliday”

I love America.  I love Fall.
.     I love St. Louis Cardinals baseball!

Now it’s bottom of the fifth.  Our first baseman is at bat –
last name Adams, first name Matt
With Peralta on deck and Molina in the hole
the Redbirds will surely give it body and soul

In Busch Stadium – baseball heaven
.    “Go Cards!” is our song
.        “Go Waino!”  “Go Wacha!”
.            “Go Yadi!”  “Go Wong!”

Now in the 7th
from the bullpen is sought
Maness or Freeman
Martinez or Motte

The Cards lead by one
and our pitchers get the call
Eighth inning, Neshek
Ninth, Rosenthal!

I love America
.    I love Fall
.        I love October
.            and I love baseball!