Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
A sphere spins towards the head.
A comebacker cracks a pitcher’s skull.
The outfield wall claims another body.
A collision takes out two.
A knee snaps.
A labrum tears.
A dream dies.
It’s a violent game.
Sometimes, it’s a shame.
Posted 8/8/10
by Bob Carlton
.
the knuckle
ball wobble
s
a drunk
en fire fly
blinks here swing
there maybe
you hit it probably
.
not
.
.
Posted 7/14/2010
By Todd Herges
To stand on a crest
In the two o’clock shade
‘Neath the bough of an ever green cedar
On a mid-summer day
When the sky is so blue so full
Of nothing but promise
Of a gentle late-summertime breeze
And later a gentle night shower …
To look southward
And forward
And toward a great rift
Of a great river valley below
And see the rise of soft shoulders beyond …
Is to stand without feeling
Your feet or your height
Or your avoirdupois at all
And to think that right now
As the spring turns to fall
It’s good to be here in Nebraska.
Posted 7/4/10
By Joe Moag
Our summer game’s true grab
On people’s hearts and minds
Is that after taking crap at work
We turn on Channel 9.
As we finish up our dinners,
As we tuck our kids in bed;
As we plop down on the couch
To try and rest our addled heads;
Len and Bob jump on our screens
And hail the pending win:
“The Cubs are set for battle,
SO LET THE GAME BEGIN!”
By the third, Lee has struck out twice,
Ramirez popped to short;
Theriot has swung through three:
He’s allergic to the walk.
By the fifth our pitcher’s bothered–
After all, he’s done his best;
He’s let in only two runs
But that’s two more than he’ll get.
See Cubs hitters swear their oath
To swing at every pitch!
Regardless of location,
Regardless of “the sitch”!
Swing boys, SWING! is their new mantra
It’s something you can’t teach–
When the bat is flailing wildly
At a pitch that’s out of reach.
By the bottom of the ninth
After three are up and down,
Len and Bob say, “Join us
When tomorrow, ‘it’s back on!’”
Posted 6/23/10
By Stuart Shea
Hanley Ramirez jogged after the ball.
Hanley Ramirez didn’t hustle at all.
Hanley Ramirez was pulled from the game.
Hanley Ramirez tried shifting the blame.
Hanley Ramirez blew off some steam.
Hanley Ramirez was shunned by his team
Hanley Ramirez heard from the press.
Hanley Ramirez was in a big mess.
Hanley Ramirez, we know, isn’t dense.
Hanley Ramirez came to his sense.
Hanley Ramirez has answered the mob.
Now Hanley Ramirez goes back to his job.
.
Posted 5/31/10