by Rickey Henderson
This shit don’t count.
This shit don’t go
on the bubble gum card.
Show Us Your…
by James Finn Garner
New Era brought a new line of caps
To fans with cash to burn (p’rhaps)
Not testing in beta,
Texas became Tetas
And caught the derision of bilingual chaps.
“Tetas Hat Pulled After Backlash.”
To see poems about EVERY hat in the collection, check out Davy Andrews’ work at FanGraphs!
Spin Rate
by Tom Lagasse
With curveballs bouncing hard into the dirt,
and four seamers zipping under his
opponent’s chins, Donald Trump’s spin rate
sends him to the training room twice a day for ice.
Preferring wildness over control, he doesn’t care
if he gets someone hurt. His fans cheer because
they believe he is the franchise’s savior
yet fail to understand this high spin rate
causes career-ending injuries. Perhaps
it is only a matter of time when the brief
hope of rebuilding and making the team
great again must wait another four years
if the country is not sold or relocated by then.
How Hard is Hitting?
by Ted Kluszewski
How hard is hitting?
You ever walk
into a pitch-black room
full of furniture
that you’ve never been in before
and try
to walk
through it
without bumping into anything?
Well,
it’s harder than that.
Lo, the Winter is Past
Each year, before the first spring training game, the late Hall of Fame Tigers broadcaster Ernie Harwell would read these verses from the Song of Solomon (2: 11-12).