by Sid Yiddish
No more sliding into home plate
Or running to the walls just to catch foul balls, for Felix Pie.
He’s gotta be careful, as one testicular torsion, has caused a commotion among the locomotion of the league, makes him out as a patsy, a patsy for jest in Cubs blue-ball proportion, but it’s not like he’s been beaned or tagged out, it’s just that, well…
Being grabbed by the ball is no fun at all,
Even after the pain has subsided.
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