Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by David Bellel
Sayonara Minaya, the Mets bid you goodbye
Whisper Sayonara Minaya but you mustn’t cry
Sayonara Minaya, if it must be so
Whisper Sayonara Minaya, you’ll still get lots of dough
No more we see pretty awful baseball
No more teams that never try
Sayonara, sayonara
Goodbye
Before thy vic’try p’rades begin,
With Sterling’d tongue and Suzyn’d spin,
Be gone, olde curd! Ye shalt not sin!
One gaem doth not thy playoffs win!
Let no grand pride swell deep within
Thy supple breast, thy pinstripe’d skin,
Let nay among ye boast to Twin!
One gaem doth not thy playoffs win!
Do not thy winner’s hanky wave,
Scout not the Philly, G’int or Brave.
These brutish Twins we’ve yet to stave.
One gaem doth not Octobre save!
This poem was pilfered from Hart’s Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is …. Caught.
Numbers on our chests,
numbers on our backs,
numbers on
the wall.
I stand and stand here
waiting for my
number to be called.
What does it matter?
The ball hits
the mitt—
and I know
I’m here.
The bat
hits the ball—
I belong.
I belong.
It’s the ball—crazy,
crazy comet—
that lets me
know:
I’m here.
I have
a name.
I count.
I’m here.
I have a name.
I count.
I count.
Susanna wrote and narrated this poem for the documentary “Cobb Field: A Day at the Ballpark,” for which she was nominated for an Emmy. The film can frequently be seen on the MLB Network. Susanna has been published numerous times in Spitball and reads frequently at the Yoga Berra Museum at Montclair State University in New Jersey.
Sweet “like acid rain”
Lou erupts no more. Old Guard
Retreats from dugout.
Bobby “WTF?”
Cox pissing and moaning fades
Into Georgia dusk.
The Saga of Joe Torre:
Sucked in St. Lou and
Shea. Then, in fall, to the Bronx,
And now he’s a champ??
Counting: 15 out of 16 years past
to Yankee playoff possibility:
Pirates? Padres? The Indians, e.g.?
(the list of small- & medium-market
teams is as long as owners’ ledgers)
a dis-service to their fans:
So don’t argue:
That your team owners may be committed
to money to profit not to bases counted
or games won: to profit sharing:
& so much for quality & parity
Some teams are designed to contend
others merely to make money