by Ashkon
At least now, a Bay Area team can employ the Bay Area Band anthem:
The Dangers of the Rangers
by James Finn Garner
It’s wise to list the dangers
When you play the Texas Rangers.
When e’en Molina steals a base,
These running deer may win this race.
Keep an eye on Ancient Vlad
Or risk your defense looking bad.
When Cliff Lee is on the mound,
Your whole squad is strike-out bound.
Ground outs can burn like lightning
With Elvis Andrus in the building.
And if Hamilton remembers how to hit,
You’ll be buried to your neck in trouble.
October
by Doug Fahrendorff
Playoff baseball
Impossible to script
Heroes will emerge
Some unsung
Joining the ranks of stars
From Mathewson
To Jeter
All the rivalries
Loyalties
Hopes and expectations
Of fans everywhere
On display
Pinnacle of the sport
Who will be
This year’s
Mr. October?
The Ballad of Roy Halladay
by James Finn Garner
Oh what a day
For Roy Halladay!
Just one pitch away
From perfect play!
He left the Reds
Shaking their heads,
Like walking dead,
longing for bed.
And Carlos Ruiz
From his knees,
If you please,
Tossed the last out 2-3.
Painting corners four
Like Benjamin Moore (TM),
Doc slammed the door
On the Redleg corps.
What might come next
Is anyone’s guess.
Doc seems untaxed–
Are THREE no-nos too much to ask?
14 Ks for Ted Lincecum
by James Finn Garner
Consider the case of Tim Lincecum,
With veins of ice water and an arm made of gum.
He looks like a stoner, but he isn’t dumb.
Those Cy Youngs weren’t promos packaged with rum.
He made Cox and the Braves rue they had come.
All D-Lee saw was a blur and a hum.
When he eats your lunch, dude, he won’t leave a crumb.
The Giants’ new hero, Ted Lincecum.