Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
With Kershaw slinging filthiness
and Scully narrating the scene,
The no-hit ingredients were
all in place at Chavez Ravine.
Fifteen Rockies went down on strikes
(one reaching by errant throw).
Rojas at third veered into left
to keep Clayton’s hit count to NO.
In the end, the lopsided box
score tells only a part of the tale
Of the night that 40,000
bellowed, while 9 could only flail.
Johnny Cueto’s AB was not bueno
Failed to bunt, so he went all volcano.
Slammed his bat on his leg
to crack like an egg
But it DIDN’T — so now he’s in pain-o.
Johnny Cueto Needs to Practice Breaking Bats Over His Knee
 Michael X. Ferraro’s baseball poetry and topical jokes can be found on Twitter @ferrarovision
Morrison was very displeased
Felt his bat’s wood must be diseased.
Gave the dugout a whack!
But the bat, it struck back
Now LoMo’s red face has been tweezed.
For more on the “breaking” story, click here.
Michael X. Ferraro is the author of Numbelievable and Tazed and Confused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season
20 years
in the same “ugly ass” uniform.
2 full seasons with 40 strikeouts.
Yeah, 40!
A near-.400 season
One more victim of the ’94 strike.
Yet
Consistency
Loyalty
Generosity
Intensity
Are a life beyond numbers
That a plaque can’t cover.
San Diego was proud
of Mr. Padre
And so are we all.