Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Dear Lord, we now give thanks
That your boy, our John Danks,
Is feeling stronger every outing
And confident about an
Improvement in delivery
That’ll sure make batters quivery.
We’re grateful that he never quits
And seemed unfazed by all those hits
He serves with regularity
(Another branch of White Sox Charities?)
And his positivity with the team–
He remembers just what “Grinder” means
And loves this game more than anyone–
But it’d be great if he ever won.
He flubbed a fly, then flipped the bird
Tyler Collins’ pique was absurd
Smart Tigers fans knew when to boo
Now Toledo laments, “What did we do?”
Pitcher Milt Pappas claimed he was dissed.
“I belong in the Hall,” he’d insist,
“Just like Catfish, Big D–
If they’re in, why not me?”
His argument, voters still resist.
Some fans think the impact Pappas made
As much off-field as on when Milt played;
“Clubhouse lawyer,” some said,
Even now that he’s dead,
Ever linked to Frank Robinson trade.
Cubs were better, and hit rapid-clip
It was wet, but their mitts didn’t slip
Their defense was proficient
Jake intense and omniscient
Arrieta no sweat, Cincy ZIP.