Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Salvador Perez–
No matter what anyone says–
Denies ever sharing a tanning booth
With Dr. Ruth.
Jose Altuve
Is fond of the movies,
Especially those that feature
Brain-eating creatures.
Mike Trout
Sulks and pouts.
As the sole Angel, he doesn’t get very far
With his funny imitation of Yunel Escobar.
Ben Zobrist
Has always been so pissed
At being last alphabetically
That he takes his revenge athletically.
Round ball, round bat . . . smack!
The ashwood art of . . . it’s gone!
The Home Run Derby
Fans of The Amazins,
They have to be sayin’:
“OK, so what’s next for
The starting rotation?”
First it’s a bone spur
For the mighty one — Thor.
Now it’s a spot,
A possible clot,
For the Dark Knight —
Whose turns on the mound
Have been less than profound.
Now he too looks unsound.
John Lackey, don’t you hear that sound
as you harrumph upon the mound?
David Ross, do your Cub ears twitch
as you jog toward the errant pitch?
That noise — whoooosh — ain’t what you reckoned
…………..BillyHamiltonjustscoredfromsecond !
Reds’ Billy Hamilton scored from second on passed ball Tuesday, thanks to Cubs’ laziness
S’been rough on the kids at The Cell
When called up, soon down they all fell
A backache, a foot break,
Concussions, fer chrissake!
Their trips to The Bigs’ve been from Hell
.
In the past week, White Sox minor league call-ups Kevyn Smith incurred back spasms during warm-ups before his initial appearance, outfielder Jason Coats suffered a concussion in a collision in his first inning of play and Matt Davidson broke his foot rounding first base after hitting a single.