by Stephen Jones
Worst game of season
Yankees resume losing ways
It’s called entropy
“Vida Blue, Part 1” by Jimmy Bee
You Don’t Know Jackson
by James Finn Garner
Edwin Jackson
Might have some action
Left in his fastball, batters fear,
‘Cuz Baltimore signed him
His “best” years behind him
His 12th team in 14 years.
Buck, it’s a mirage–
He can’t hit a garage,
Throws as straight as a cluster of starlings.
Looks like Duquette’s
Willing to forget
His results with the Cubs and the Marlins.
And the Tigers.
And the Padres.
And the Braves.
And the White Sox.
And the Dodgers.
And probably the Pilots.
An Umpire’s Lot is Not a Happy One
by Patrick McCaughey
(Major League Baseball’s batting out-of-order rule, set to the tune of “The Policeman’s Song” from The Pirates of Penzance)
6.07 (a)
A batter shall be called out on appeal (on appeal)
When he fails to bat in his proper turn (proper turn)
Though the batter’s fate cannot be fully sealed (fully sealed)
‘Til the status of another batter’s learned (batter’s learned).
6.07 (b)
When that improper batter safely gets on (safely gets on)
Or is put out, and the other team appeals (team appeals)
Before a pitch or play is newly put on (newly put on)
The umpire has two rulings to reveal (to reveal):
6.07 (b) (1), 6.07 (b) (2)
Call out whose spot was taken by the other (by the other)
And nullify the play the other batter’s done (batter’s done).
Ah, take one consideration with another (with another)
An umpire’s lot is not a happy one (happy one).
Ahhh
When constabulary duty’s to be done (to be done),
An umpire’s lot is not a happy one.
Idle Thought
by Stephen Jones
When the smoke finally clears,
sometime later this year…
The American League East
will be a black ‘n blue beast:
No team a clear winner…
but one a survivor.
Alley fights and turf wars–
they’re waged just that way.