Bill Veeck

by Michael Ceraolo

I don’t think I was a genius
by any objective measurement,
but it wasn’t hard to seem like one
compared to most of the other owners,
who considered attendance at the games
to be the fans’ religious obligation
My treating baseball as a business
that had to attract its customers
with a good product and fun at the park
was derided as heresy
(though many of my ideas were soon copied)
And that wasn’t their only resort to mystical nonsense:
they first fought, and then severely limited, night games
Just imagine:
running a business whose hours of operation
(set by you)
preclude the vast majority of customers
from patronizing your business.

An Immortal’s Mortality

By Elliot Harris

There is a harsh reality:
No one escapes mortality.
Even if you were a baseball great,
You still cannot avoid such a fate.

Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver died,
And some fans of his likely cried.
Mortality and thoughts of Tom Seaver
Can turn us inward and into a griever.

A baseball immortal, that’s for sure
With a delivery that was so pure.
And yet with Death in the batter’s box
Not even the great ones can outfox.

No curve nor changeup nor blazing fastball
Has a chance against the swing of Death’s call.
All that is left on the great pitcher’s mound
Are the marvelous memories and joy unbound.

The Miracle Mets of long ago
Don’t seem so ancient to some of us, though
Who used to watch him and them play
When we were all young back in the day.

After Tom Seaver has been laid to rest
He still will remain among baseball’s best.
Still too will remain the human fragility:
We all will strike out against mortality.

(Editor’s Error: First submitted Sept. 3, 2020. RIP Tom Seaver)

 

This Team Isn’t Panicking

By James Finn Garner

This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
Though for piddling away Spring Training
We’re really quite bereft

This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
We might lack in fundamentals but
In dodging blame, we’re deft

This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
From our days in Double A you’d say
Most of us have regressed

This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
What is Time, anyway, huh?
A false construct, at best

This team isn’t panicking
There’s plenty of season left–
Just string together some victories
And we’ll put this issue to rest.

 

La Russa La Loca

by Greg Simetz

Tony La Russa intentionally walked a batter
with two strikes and two outs
The next guy up hit a homer,
bringing Tony’s mind into doubt.

A head scratching choice
A questionable call
Tony swore the statistics
Would cause the Dodgers to stall.

But the Sox have a plan
to get back on the right track:
Swapping 77-year-old La Russa
for 87-year-old Connie Mack.

(Editor’s Error! This limerick was submitted in June of 2022, but was lost in the Inbox.)

 

Designated Hurter

by James Finn Garner

(Title by Jim Siergey)

Eloy’s a natural hitter,
Chitown’s best since Sammy

If Eloy’s swings were music,
He’d be a shoe-in for a Grammy

When he steps into the batters box
Sox fans’ palms get clammy

‘Cuz Eloy’s smart as a Labrador
And has stale breadsticks for hammies.