by James Finn Garner
Mets Can’t Wear Alternative Jerseys Because the Pants Haven’t Arrived
As the nation’l pastime seeks expanse
To pull in those who might just glance
And, intrigued, give the game a chance,
Manfred should provide some pants.
Fans in Britain, Spain and France,
With soccer frustrated perchance,
Might get all “Tinker! Evers! Chance!”
But won’t if players have no pants.
College hoops? Yeah, “The Big Dance!”
Skaters ’round Stanley’s cup prance.
Football thrills all uncles and aunts.
Baseball? They ain’t got no pants.
On-field play can be enhanced
And fortunes made through slick finance
But we might have a free “snake dance”
Unless MLB invests in pants.
