Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Bill Monbouquette
Needed no sobriquet
For a name with such musical flow
But Bill Monbouquette
A sobriquet did get
His teammates all called him “Monbo”
Did Bill Monbouquette
Ever regret
That his name went on forevermore?
Because Monbouquette
Was shortened more yet
As M’b’q’t’e in the daily box score.
Chicago White Sox
Best to seek new park
Before taking the field with
A terrible team.
Cleveland Guardians
An empty cave, just
Like the Guardians’ lineup,
Hasn’t any bats.
Detroit Tigers
Actual prospects,
Bringing April to those who
Want to hope again.
Kansas City Royals
Tethered by contract,
Regardless of performance—
To Witt: 11 years.
Minnesota Twins
By the river live
Siblings united by love
For their baseballists.
I was anything but a natural athlete:
it took a lot of hard work to get to the big leagues,
a lot of hard work to stay there,
and a lot of hard work to have the success I had
And there was a whole new set of pressures:
to play on the High Holy Days or not?
After consulting with a rabbi,
I played on Rosh Hashanah but not on Yom Kippur
I remember the pressure I felt because of my religion,
from those who wanted me to succeed and from those who didn’t,
especially when I was chasing the Babe
I remember the ethnic slurs I received
from opponents, fans, and even the occasional teammate,
well beyond what anyone til then had to endure
And with all that I’m sure
it didn’t compare to what Jackie had to endure
Jackie had some nice things to say about me,
and I hope I lived up to them
Curve—yellow hammer—breaks down hard
Can the pitcher keep it in the yard?
Was it tougher to catch a pitch
From Mickey Lolich
Or to scaffold Ernie Harwell’s last act?
Now a voice of memory is stilled,
But promises were fulfilled.
He won a ring. He did his thing.
Known from Marquette to Flint,
His life’s work a flash, a glint,
A wind wafting through dozens of summers.
Stu Shea, the co-founder of Bardball, is the author of numerous books, including Calling the Game: Baseball Broadcasting from 1920 to the Present.
