This Year’s Departures

by James Finn Garner

The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.

Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.

Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.

Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki

After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.

Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”

And if anyone’s  looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.

 

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 2

by Stephen Jones

Despite four walks for Aaron Judge —
Even Toronto fans murmured disapproval;
They too wanted to see history made —
The Yankees still clinched the division.
Maybe now, with all that behind him,
Judge can now hit his 61.

 

All-Star Clerihews #4: The Proud and Profane

Corbin Burnes
Knows his gulls from his terns
In the role of a birder
He’s absolute murder.

Sterling Marté
Sure loves to par-tay.
Whiskey, tequila, rum–
Whatever you got, he’ll have some.

Alek Manoah
Has never been to Samoa
But he knows the nightlife is da bomb
In Guam.

Pete Alonso
Has tattoos of Gonzo,
Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie and where space permits,
Kermit.

All-Star Clerihews #2: The Brave and the Bold

C.J. Cron
Will talk on the phone
For hours and hours
With other BTS followers.

Alejandro Kirk
Doesn’t like to work
On anything other than
His abs and his tan.

Kyle Tucker
Loves the Drive-By Truckers
And any other bands that wanna
Straddle genres.

Tony Gonsolin
Keeps a pet pangolin
And regularly massages the armor
Of that weird little charmer.