by Stephen Jones
Despite four walks for Aaron Judge —
Even Toronto fans murmured disapproval;
They too wanted to see history made —
The Yankees still clinched the division.
Maybe now, with all that behind him,
Judge can now hit his 61.
All-Star Clerihews #4: The Proud and Profane
Corbin Burnes
Knows his gulls from his terns
In the role of a birder
He’s absolute murder.
Sterling Marté
Sure loves to par-tay.
Whiskey, tequila, rum–
Whatever you got, he’ll have some.
Alek Manoah
Has never been to Samoa
But he knows the nightlife is da bomb
In Guam.
Pete Alonso
Has tattoos of Gonzo,
Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie and where space permits,
Kermit.
All-Star Clerihews #2: The Brave and the Bold
C.J. Cron
Will talk on the phone
For hours and hours
With other BTS followers.
Alejandro Kirk
Doesn’t like to work
On anything other than
His abs and his tan.
Kyle Tucker
Loves the Drive-By Truckers
And any other bands that wanna
Straddle genres.
Tony Gonsolin
Keeps a pet pangolin
And regularly massages the armor
Of that weird little charmer.
Royal Dumbasses
by James Finn Garner
What’s up with your team, Kansas City?
TEN players not vaxxed, what a pity!
Playing the Jays
Now needs scrubs and strays
The toll of ignorance isn’t pretty.
AL Cannibalism de Facto?
by Stephen Jones
Let’s just say
The season ended today
And the Yankees won the division…
That’s a no-brainer, a win-loss given.
But what about the rest
Of the hungry AL East —
Those Red Sox and Rays,
Those Orioles and Blue Jays?
Like it or not, three of these beasts
Rule the AL’s wild-card menu.
But hey, that’s a speculative dream,
Maybe a thought in the extreme.
It’s more likely than not
That these baseball carnivores —
Forget here any herbivores —
Will actively consume each other
In the AL East’s cannibal-diner.