by James Finn Garner
Atlanta’s mound ace Charlie Morton
Was handling Houston, cutting and sorting
He then broke his leg
But pitched one more set!
Yet here I am, barely surviving the morning.
Houston Brings Winter to Boston, Win ALCS
by Stephen Jones
A weatherman on Beantown TV
Described it this way:
“You start here,” a flat hand
measuring height in the air.
“This is chilly. Okay?
Then you drop it to here.
This is freezing,
Just thirty-two degrees.”
He went on: “But it gets colder,
Down here…”
He ducked below the camera eye.
“… Is zero, and it’s so cold …
You freeze fruit and it shatters.
But there’s one more level …”
He looked the camera in the eye.
“… Colder still: Red Sox hitting.”
Boston Massacre
Sure, Diaz was blind as a bat
Both teams benefited from that
But knock your guys in
Or you won’t get the win
“Men stranded”, the most meaningful stat.
When Leury Met Yimi, Instead of Luis
A Song by James Finn Garner
When the Sox started hitting
With no sign of quitting
Dusty thought twice
And brought in some ice
Dusty yanked one Garcia
(his pitcher Luis)
For another Gracia
(Yimi, if you please)
To pitch to Garcia
(The Sox one, Leury)
And Dusty was sure
He’d got rid of his worry
But….
Garcia pitched to Garcia
Bailing out Gracia
But stalwart stood Garcia
Hit the pitch from Garcia
Sent it flying o’er Garcia
The gladdened Garcia
Had saddened Garcia
And this is why we siiiiiiiing….
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
Throw that heater past
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
This game could be your last
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
Put life in that crowd
Garcia! Garcia! Garcia!
Make all Garcias proud !!!
The Boys of 3 Summers Ago
by James Finn Garner
When the ‘Stros went to Chavez Ravine,
L.A. homies got nasty and mean
Inflatable cans
Fistfights in the stands
Apropos, I s’pose, in 2018.