Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Does a Baby Bull have Buddha nature?
Not even the wind,
fluttering prayer flags
in the abandoned grandstand,
can say.
Peanuts and popcorn
in your begging bowl,
a pinecone nestled snugly
in your glove.
How many times being hit by a pitch
until you gained enlightenment?
379 homers? Or
379 drops of rain
pelting a temple bell?
Photo by the author’s sister.
From 1909. Ripley went on to create the syndicated Ripley’s Believe It or Not! in 1918. Thanks to the tumblr account of Mighty Flynn.
This shit don’t count.
This shit don’t go
on the bubble gum card.
With curveballs bouncing hard into the dirt,
and four seamers zipping under his
opponent’s chins, Donald Trump’s spin rate
sends him to the training room twice a day for ice.
Preferring wildness over control, he doesn’t care
if he gets someone hurt. His fans cheer because
they believe he is the franchise’s savior
yet fail to understand this high spin rate
causes career-ending injuries. Perhaps
it is only a matter of time when the brief
hope of rebuilding and making the team
great again must wait another four years
if the country is not sold or relocated by then.
How hard is hitting?
You ever walk
into a pitch-black room
full of furniture
that you’ve never been in before
and try
to walk
through it
without bumping into anything?
Well,
it’s harder than that.
