Weaver Fever

by James Finn Garner

Luke Weaver
Can be a deceiver
Young, bright, even cleaner
Than Beaver Cleaver
Yet kills with his heater
Like dengue fever
Cincinnati weren’t believers
DFA’d him, pulled the lever
New York thought him keener
Not as a starter, neither
Now the late-game Caesar
Star reliever
Overachiever
From kids to geezers
The Yankeeverse is flying in the ether
Heavy breathers
With Weaver Fever

 

Fire Cats

by James Finn Garner

Somebody let the Tigers get hot
No one told Houston the plot
AJ Hinch gave his old squad a swat
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Now Cleveland’s about to get taught
The summer games might come to naught
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Whatever team comes down the slot
They still lose when they’ve shot their shot
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Are these rookies aware what they’ve got?
Any need for vets they forgot
Playing with Red Bull, courage and snot
Youthful spirit means quite a lot
Call them “Tigertown Tots”
And they’ll tie your tongue in a knot
What hath the Ilitches wrought?
Somebody let the Tigers get hot.

MLB All-Autumn-Cozy-Like-Martha-Stewart Team

1B   Canadian Goose Tatum
2B   Pumpsie Spice Green
SS   Luke Caramel Appling
3B   Alex Decorative Gourdon

LF    Tail Gates Brown
CF    Walt “Turtleneck” Williams
RF    Félix Pumpkin Pié

C      Moses Fleecewood Walker

LHP   Cliff Leefpile, Matt S’Moore
RHP   Boof Bonfire, Aaron Rakers

MGR   Hot Cyder Young

Nicky and Bryce

By James Finn Garner

With apologies to Robert Frost

Some say the game will end with Nicky,
Some say Bryce.
From what I’ve seen of players gritty
I hold with those who favor Nicky.
But if it had to happen twice,
Say, if the game was going late,
I know that for destruction Bryce
Is also great
And would suffice.